Since December of 2014, I have battled terrible, confidence-crushing acne. This video by My Pale Skin Blog (by Em Ford,) showed up on my Facebook news feed one evening and it really spoke to how I felt during this time. I will argue that my acne was even worse than hers! I am debating about whether I should even post a picture of what I looked like, but I’m honestly not sure if I am ready to show my old face to the world.
I had gone through a tremendous amount of stress: papers, assignments, college graduation and in February, I had my infamous icy car wreck. With no car, I was forced to move on campus for the remaining two-and-a-half months of classes, which would have been a great experience had I not been bogged down with assignments. To add to the stress, I went through an ugly fight with my best friend’s roommate who didn’t appreciate my presence despite knowing my predicament.
I am 100 percent sure that my stress level was what triggered my acne, but stressing over it, messing with it and excessive face washing/medicating allowed this acne spell to thrive. Being a model also lowered my self-confidence. Photographers hate seeing acne on their models faces, and dread the hours of Photoshopping acne and acne scars. No one ever came out and said anything, but I knew what they were thinking: #YouLookDisgusting
In public, I would wear makeup to hide my toad-like skin and it did a great job at covering up what I was so self-conscious about, but not pictures. You couldn’t see my red blotchy skin, but the bumps themselves were very noticeable. I got fed up many times, and cried myself to sleep often. I felt trapped in my skin and began to grow more and more depressed. I went to a dermatologist, but nothing helped. In fact, the Epidou and Aczone I was prescribed gave me chemical burns all over my face which prompted people to stare.
According to RT News, “Ford said that she wanted to ‘create a film that showed how social media can set unrealistic expectations on both women and men. One challenge many face today, is that as a society, we’re so used to seeing false images of perfection, and comparing ourselves to unrealistic beauty standards that It can be hard to remember the most important thing – You ARE beautiful.’”
After all my troubles, I graduated college, with honors, my parents bought me a new car, and next thing I know, my skin starts clearing up. Even though I believe my skin improved because I was no longer under stress, I owe my improvement to a few products:
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Lancôme Dreamtone Dark Spot Corrector
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Skin79 Smart Clear Refresh Cleansing Foam
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Simple Micellar Water
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Boots No7 Beautiful Skin Balancing Toner
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Evening Primrose Oil capsules (twice daily)
I’ve regained my confidence and I feel more beautiful than ever. People don’t realize how struggling with acne can damage your self-esteem. So if you’re on social media, think about what you are saying to people struggling with acne and acne scars. Be kind, supportive and understanding. No one wishes to be bestowed with the gift of red bumps, black and white heads. Remember that most of the time, it has nothing to do with being unhygienic; hormonal acne is very real and very bothersome. Most importantly remember that #YouAreBeautiful in every single way. (Can you hear the song playing in your head now? Ha!)
As I stated before, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to show my old skin to the world. It took a lot of courage to show how my skin looked back in March, but after much debating with myself, I realized just how important it is for people to see this. I hope to give confidence to those struggling with acne. It may feel like it never gets better, but it will.
