šMorrow Mountain State Park, NC
Lately, life has been a whirlwind. These last few crazed months, I struggled with this space and its future.
After months of cold weather and an endless Winter, I’ve grown restless. I want to get out, breatheĀ in fresh air, and bask in the sun. Frankly, I am feeling a bit uninspired and tired and because of it, I’ve been retreating from this space. I needed hope – or a break lol.
Running a blog and being on social media has forced me to create a persona; one that has left me feeling confined and restricted. It’s not who I am, but a fragment of who I want to be. With everything going on in my personal life, I have beenĀ struggling to find balance. As soon as I regain control of one aspect of my life, another part goes completely haywire.Ā
I recently had to stop participating in a few side projects and other activities just so I could find time to relax without my pessimistic thoughts flooding my head 24/7. I had a really cool opportunity to ghostwrite for established bloggers, and I even had a couple posts publish, but the timing wasn’t right. It nearly killed me to quit – it made me feel like a failure – but I spread myself too thin and needed ‘me‘ time.
I knew that I would be a failure if I didn’t slow down and refocus.Ā
I was also thinking about killing this blog. All hope was lost for a while. My mentality was, “no one reads this space anyway,” but then I remembered why I started. Blue Augustine was my getaway from school, work, politics, and other frustrations. I created this space as an outlet for myself; like an at-home therapy. I could put myself out there for the world and show people who I really am.
As time went on, I started obsessing with numbers and analytics, and while those things are important, it’s not why I created this space. Suddenly, my passion toĀ turn this blog into something substantial was reignited; I had hope. This time it’s going to be different. The dream is the same but the path will be unique to me – no more copy-cat strategies and formulas. I’ll shoot when I can, take breaks when I need them, and write when I feel inspired. I’m not going to force out content and I’m not going to be bullied into feeling like I’m too old for dreams. Age is just a number – it doesn’t mean shit. Who knows, three years from now, I might have a new dream but right now, I dream of the successes of this space and I’m not willing to let that dream go. Think about it…
If you give up on your dreams, what is left?
Blazer (here)
Shoes (similarĀ here)
Bag (similar here, here and here)
Shorts (similar here, here and here)
